...IT'S GOOD BUT PENN IS THE PLACE TO BE.
I LIKE NORTHWESTERN.
WE SHALL BE ARRIVING AT ALTOONA IN ABOUT 15 MINUTES.
ON YOUR RIGHT IS ROCKVIEW CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTION,
ONE OF THE LARGEST PRISONS IN PENNSYLVANIA.
...TODAY YOU NEED A BA AND A MASTERS DEGREE.
ALTOONA, PENNSYLVANIA.
GET OUT YOUR BAGGAGE CHECKS FOR ALTOONA.
...THE OBLIGATION OF PLACING IN HIS HOME THE HOLY SCRIPTURES
AND PROVIDE HIM WITH INSTRUCTIONS IN THE CHRISTIAN FAITH.
AS THOMAS GROWS IN YEARS, DO YOU FRANKIE, AS GODMOTHER,
AND YOU, WILLIAM, AS GODFATHER, PROMISE TO FULFIL THESE OBLIGATIONS?
THEN, BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME, I BAPTISE YOU THOMAS.
IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, THE SON...
MICHAEL! STOP SHOOTING, YOU'RE MAKING THE MINISTER CRAZY.
I'M OUTTA HERE!
BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME BY THIS STATE,
I DECLARE YOU RELEASED FROM CUSTODY.
- YOU'RE A FREE MAN. - THANK YOU, MASTER LINCOLN.
TRY TO STAY OUT AT LEAST A YEAR. GOOD LUCK, JOHNNY.
- THANK YOU, MR ROSEN. - YOU'RE THE BEST COOK HERE.
I SINCERELY PRAY I'LL NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN.
- I'LL MISS YOUR OMELETTES! - I'LL SEND YOU THE RECIPE.
NEW YORK CITY CAN BE A REAL DANGEROUS, HOSTILE PLACE.
IT'LL BE A NICE CHANGE.
NEW BEGINNING FOR YOU MEN, MAKE THE MOST OF IT.
COME BACK AND COOK FOR US, JOHNNY!
DELANEY! I'M IN, I'M OUT I'M OUT! OUT!
NICE THOUGHT, LESTER!
FRESH AIR.
WE'RE REALLY FREE.
IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL CHRISTENING. THANKS FOR LETTING US USE YOUR HOUSE.
I LOVE BABIES. NOW, I DON'T HAVE ANY GRANDCHILDREN...
DON'T START, MUM.
WOULD YOU STOP CLEANING AND SIT DOWN? COME ON.
THIS IS THE WAY PEOPLE LIVE, FRANCES. REAL PEOPLE.
- WHAT TIME'S YOUR BUS? - LATE.
I WANT TO SPEND SOME TIME WITH HER.
- NOW IT'S MY FAULT! - NOTHING'S YOUR FAULT.
IT WAS A LOVELY CEREMONY.
- YOU WANNA TRY IT AGAIN? - ONE MORE TIME.
- NO! - PLEASE! YES, ONE MORE TIME.
- GREAT CHRISTENING, HONEY. - GOTTA GO. BYE, FRANKIE.
I BETTER GET GOING.
BABY, I WORRY ABOUT YOU IN NEW YORK.
I'M FINE, MUM.
MAYBE I'M NOT THE HAPPIEST PERSON WHO EVER LIVED...
BUT THAT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
WELCOME TO NEW YORK, YOU SINNERS.
THIS CITY IS FILLED WITH SINNERS, WE DON'T NEED ANY MORE,
BUT YOU COULD BE SAVED IF YOU FOLLOW THE WORD OF THE LORD.
WILL YOU FOLLOW? THE LORD CAN SAVE YOU. DO YOU WANNA BE SAVED?
DO YOU? YOU MUST CHOOSE YOUR WAY TODAY, BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
DO YOU HEAR ME? YOU MUST CHOOSE...
LEO! MEET ME AT THE CORNER. THANK YOU.
VCR SPECIAL
SALE
CABBIE! TAXI!
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - HELEN'S SICK.
THEY'RE SENDING HER HOME. I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S THE MATTER.
DO YOU WANT WATER? NEDDA, GET ME SOME WATER, PLEASE.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE OK.
- I'M FINE. - I'LL TELL YOU WHEN YOU'RE FINE.
- WHAT'S WRONG? - HE'S SENDING ME HOME.
TWICE IN ONE WEEK? DIZZY SPELLS, NOT GOOD.
IT'S MY MEDICATION.
- NICK, I GOT A CAB. - GOOD.
HERE'S $10 FOR THE CAB, YOU TAKE HELEN HOME.
- WHAT ABOUT ME? - YOU TAKE THE BUS.
I'LL CALL YOU THIS AFTERNOON.
THAT WOMAN AT TABLE FIVE STIFFED ME LAST WEEK.
OK, THANKS FOR TELLING ME. I'LL BURN HER TOAST.
I TELL HER TO STOP WORKING SO HARD, NOW SHE TELLS ME THAT SHE'S FINE.
SHE DOESN'T LOOK SO FINE TO ME.
SHE'S BEEN WAITING ON ME FOR TEN YEARS.
NO WONDER SHE'S SICK.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU KNOW THAT NICE DRESS...
NOT SO MUCH BUTTER!
I SAY THIS MUCH, WHY YOU USE THAT MUCH? GET OFF THE PHONE.
IN A MINUTE, TINO. LISTEN, BABY, AS SOON I...
- DON'T TIE THAT THING UP ALL DAY. - LUTHER, WHO'S GONNA CALL YOU?
SCRAMBLED WITH SAUSAGE, HOME FRIES
AND A GUN TO SHOOT THAT BITCH ON THREE.
- HOW WAS YOUR WEEKEND? - IT WAS GREAT. I SAW MY MUM...
WHERE'S MY BACON?
I'M BACKED UP. HELP ME AND GET LOVER BOY OFF THE PHONE.
...THAT UNDERWEAR I BOUGHT YOU. - JORGE, HI! LMMIGRATION!
NO, I WAS JUST KIDDING!
OK, HERE WE GO.
GOOD MORNING, FRANKIE.
THERE YOU GO. SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT TINO'S REAL BACKED UP.
WALT LEARNED TO JUGGLE ORANGES, HE THINKS IT GIVES HIM VITAMIN C.
HI, WE HAVE TWO SPECIALS TODAY. WE HAVE A FETA CHEESE OMELETTE FOR 3.95
AND A WESTERN OMELETTE FOR 2.95.
- I'LL TAKE THE PANCAKE SPECIAL. - NO, THERE ARE NO SPECIAL PANCAKES.
THERE'S THE FETA AND THE WESTERN.
I'LL HAVE THE FRENCH TOAST SPECIAL WITH DOUBLE SYRUP.
- MY GOODNESS! DID YOU SEE THAT? - YEAH, I SAW IT.
I'M ALL RIGHT, DON'T WORRY.
LOOK WHAT YOU DID! MY FATHER HAD TO WORK VERY HARD FOR THIS CAR.
- GET HER OFF! - POKE HIM IN THE EYE!
...WHEN YOU GIVE THEM CHANGE, THEY SAY, "NO, I GIVE YOU 20."
I BRING YOU FROM GREECE TO TEACH YOU BUSINESS.
- I TRY, UNCLE NICK. - YOU CAN SIT ANYWHERE.
GO ON, TAKE ANY TABLE. ONCE AGAIN.
NO, IT SAYS YOU LOOKING FOR A SHORT-ORDER COOK.
WE'RE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR COOKS BUT THEY COME AND THEY GO.
I'M NOT A COME-AND-GO GUY. I'LL STICK WITH YOU IF YOU HIRE ME.
I LIKE YOUR HAIR LIKE THAT.
- YOU DON'T THINK IT'S TOO YOUNG? - NO, IT'S PERFECT.
- SEE THE GUY ON TWO? - THE COP?
WANTS CHOPSTICKS. WHERE'S MY BACON?
MY REFERENCES, SIGNED BY THE GOVERNOR.
- MORE LIKE A DIPLOMA. - EXCUSE ME.
- SORRY. - PETER, PHONE CALL.
THIS CHOPSTICK HAS TAPE ON IT, YOU CAN'T BE THAT CHEAP.
- THE OTHER ONE IS GOOD. - ONE CHOPSTICK?
YOU WANT ME TO SHARPEN IT AND HAVE HIM STAB THE FOOD?
GOOD IDEA. SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK, POOKIE? YOU THINK I SHOULD HIRE HIM?
- YES. - WHY?
- I LIKE HIS FACE. - ME, TOO. YOU'RE HIRED.
THANK YOU, SIR. REALLY, THANK YOU.
- OK. YOU WANNA KNOW WHY? ASK ME WHY. - WHY?
I BELIEVE IN GIVING MEN ANOTHER CHANCE. CLOSE YOUR EARS.
UNTIL HE FUCKS UP. THIS COUNTRY GAVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE.
CLOSE YOUR EARS, POOKIE. I DIDN'T FUCK UP.
- THIS IS BETWEEN US. - THANK YOU.
I WON'T... COULD YOU CLOSE YOUR EARS?
I WON'T FUCK UP.
HERE. FILL THIS OUT, YOU BRING BACK TOMORROW, ALL RIGHT?
- YOU START TOMORROW, 6AM. - I CAN START NOW.
TOMORROW'S GOOD. I'M NICK, YOU'RE JOHNNY?
- HOW'D YOU HURT YOUR HAND? - SOCCER. YOU PLAY SOCCER?
- NO. I PLAY HANDBALL, THOUGH. - OK, TOMORROW.
NICE YOU MEETING, POOKIE. I'LL SEE YOU AT SIX.
- GOT A JOB TODAY! - WHO GIVES A SHIT?
THE HEAD IS TEN POINTS.
HOW MUCH FOR THE BELLY BUTTON?
MAN! WINNER! ONE MORE. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING.
STOP PLAYING AND GET OUT OF HERE. COME ON.
YOU TOOK AWAY OUR PLAYGROUNDS NOW YOU TAKE AWAY OUR STIFFS.
GUY COMES OUT OF THE GARAGE, GETS IN HIS CAR AND GETS SHOT.
HELLO? HOW ARE MY SHELVES?
- I'M A FRIEND OF TIM'S. I'M BOBBY. - WHERE'S TIM?
HE'S IN HIS PLACE. YOU WERE OUT OF BEER.
- NICE ELEPHANT COLLECTION. - THANKS.
HE ASKED ME TO HELP WITH YOUR SHELVES. YOU LIKE 'EM?
A LITTLE CROOKED BUT... YEAH.
THE SHELVES AREN'T CROOKED. IT'S YOUR FLOOR.
THERE SHE IS! THERE'S THE LITTLE GODMOTHER. WELCOME HOME.
HAVE YOU MET BOBBY?
WE MET AT A DR PEPPER AUDITION.
HE WAS THE BIG PEPPER, I WAS THE LITTLE PEPPER.
HANDS ON BUZZERS.
ACROPHOBIA IS THE FEAR OF HIGH PLACES,
AGORAPHOBIA IS THE FEAR OF OPEN SPACES,
BUT WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF IF YOU'RE XENOPHOBIC?
FOREIGNERS.
- FOREIGNERS. - FOREIGNERS OR STRANGERS. CORRECT!
LUCY, THIS IS BOBBY. HE'LL BE TAKING YOU FOR YOUR WALK.
SHE LIKES TO CHASE LIMOS. SHE HAS DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR.
I KNOW HOW TO WALK A DOG. WE DO HAVE THESE THINGS IN KENTUCKY.
KENTUCKY! I'M DATING HUCK FINN!
- NICE TO MEET YOU, FRANKIE. - YOU TOO, BIG PEPPER.
SO, HAVE I FOUND SHANGRI-LA?
- HE'S NICE. - THAT'S A ROTTEN THING TO SAY.
HE'S VERY NICE! WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?
I LEAVE YOU ALONE FOR TWO SECONDS...
I KNOW. I SAID I'D NEVER FALL IN LOVE AGAIN.
- WHERE DID THAT GET ME? - DON'T GET DRAMATIC.
IT'S AN OCCUPATIONAL HAZARD.
I LOVE WATCHING TV WITH YOU,
I HOPE WE'LL BEST FRIENDS THE REST OF OUR LIVES
BUT THERE'S A WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE, IT'S NO USE PRETENDING THERE'S NOT
JUST BECAUSE OUR FEELINGS GOT HURT OR THERE'S SOME VIRUS.
I KNOW.
BUT I'M GOING FOR A VCR.
A VCR. I HOPE IT COMES WITH A LOT OF ATTACHMENTS.
- IS THAT A LIFE? - SEND OUT FOR A PIZZA, RENT A FILM.
THAT'S DINNER AND A MOVIE
AND I DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH SOME SCHMUCK PUTTING HIS TONGUE IN MY EAR.
WHAT IS THE TOPIC OF DISCUSSION WHEN LEPIDOPTERISTS GET TOGETHER?
BUTTERFLIES.
- GEMS? - NO, MA'AM. BUTTERFLIES OR MOTHS.
YOU'VE BEEN TO COLLEGE, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT.
I'M FINE.
GIVE HER A KISS. GIVE HER A NICE KISS.
WANT SOME BRAN?
MAY AS WELL JUST EAT ROPE AND YANK IT THROUGH.
COME ON!
YOU HAVE FEET, YOU HAVE SHOES! RUN!
PAPA! ARE YOU OK?
- WHAT'S HAPPENING? - DON'T POKE! PLEASE.
HI, ARE YOU BUYING? I'M ON SALE. I'LL PAY YOU THURSDAY.
HOW YOU DOING?
HI. LOOKING FOR COMPANY?
- I DON'T KNOW. WHAT'S THE RATE NOW? - $100. CASH.
I APPRECIATE THE OFFER BUT THAT'S A LITTLE OUT OF MY...
LISTEN, IT'S SLOW TONIGHT. WE CAN TALK.
- YOU WANNA TALK? OK, LET'S... - SO, WHAT DO YOU LIKE?
WHAT ABOUT THE SPOON POSITION?
WHAT YOU GONNA DO TO ME IN THE SPOON POSITION?
PARTY TIME.
- CELESTE, NO... - CHRISTINE.
YEAH, WELL, CLOTHES ON. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?
CLOTHES ON, SPOON POSITION.
I WILL GO ON WITH DYNAMITE.
PEOPLE GOT TO BE ABLE TO SEE AS WELL AS HEAR.
WATCH THIS, I'LL DO BETTE DAVIS...
YOU ALL RIGHT, MAN. THAT'S LIKE A MOVE, AIN'T IT?
ALL RIGHT! CHOP THAT CELERY!
- THAT'S A GOOD WAY TO LOSE A FINGER. - DO IT, BABY.
I HAD A COUSIN, HE LOST TWO FINGERS AT HIS LAST JOB.
- HE CAN'T EVEN TIE HIS OWN SHOES. - COME ON!
- I WEAR LOAFERS ANYWAY. - FRANKIE, COME HERE.
LOOK AT THIS GUY, HE'S A HOT DOG.
HE'S CUTE, THOUGH. HE'S GOT A CUTE LITTLE ASS.
- WHY DON'T YOU TELL HIM? - I THINK I WILL. HEY, ZORRO!
ANYBODY EVER TELL YOU YOU GOT A CUTE ASS?
- LAST JOB I HAD. - ARE YOU BLUSHING?
STOP BOTHERING THE NEW GUY. EVERYBODY GET TO WORK FOR A CHANGE.
SCRAMBLED WITH BACON, TWO EASY-OVERS WITH SAUSAGE AND A BELGIAN WAFFLE.
I'M JOHNNY. WHO ARE YOU?
THESE EGGS AREN'T RUNNY. MR DELEON LIKES THEM RUNNY.
THEY LOOK RUNNY TO ME. THEY'RE PRETTY RUNNY.
- HE'S A REGULAR. - WHO CAN ARGUE WITH THAT?
AND WHO CAN ARGUE WITH YOU?
"THY HEAD IS FULL OF QUARREL LIKE AN EGG IS FULL OF MEAT."
ROMEO AND JULIET. I'M READING IT NOW.
ACT THREE, SCENE ONE. I CAN'T FIND IT NOW.
OK, RAW EGGS COMING UP.
NOT RAW, RUNNY.
WAIT A MINUTE. STOP!
NICK, THE PIE MACHINE'S GONE BERSERK.
LOOK, IF HE JUMPS, HE JUMPS BUT THEY NEVER DO.
I GOTTA GO, I'LL CALL YOU LATER. YEAH, BYE.
- WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HIM? - WHO?
- THE GUY. THE NEW GUY. - HE JUST STARTED, CORA.
I'VE BEEN CHECKING HIM OUT. SOMETHING ABOUT HIM I DON'T LIKE.
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. SOME WISE GUY.
NO, IT'S THE HEADBAND.
- HE IS CUTE. - YOU ALWAYS SEE SOMETHING CUTE.
- I'M LUCKY LIKE THAT. - IS HELEN STILL OUT?
SHE'LL BE BACK TOMORROW.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS? YOU'RE TOO PICKY.
WOMEN LIKE THAT ALWAYS HAVE OPINIONS ABOUT WOMEN LIKE US.
- HOW DO THOSE LOOK? - PERFECT!
YOU GIRLS TAKE SUCH GOOD CARE OF ME. I KNOW, I SHOULD HAVE SAID LADIES!
NO, YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID WOMEN.
FRANKIE, YOU'RE LOOKING AT A VERY OLD DOG.
IN MY TIME I'VE SAID TOOTSIES, DOLLS, GALS, CHICKS, BABES,
SOMETIMES EVEN BROADS - THAT'S WHEN I WAS A YOUNG MAN.
WHEN I WAS A YOUNG MAN, THE WONDER-DRUG WAS MERCUROCHROME.
DID I TELL YOU MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW WANTS ME TO CALL HER MS?
I PUT UP WITH HER BECAUSE OF MY GRANDCHILDREN.
HAVE I SHOWN YOU PICTURES OF THEM?
WANT TO SEE THEM AGAIN? SOME OF THEM ARE OUT OF FOCUS.
PETER, TELEPHONE.
HOW CAN VCRS BE SO COMPLICATED?
- WHAT'S HIS STORY? - ASK CORA.
SHE AFTER HIM ALREADY? SHE'S FAST!
LIKE A BULLET!
MAYBE JORGE KNOWS ABOUT VCRS.
THAT BOY? ALL HE GOT ON HIS MIND IS PUSSY.
YOU OPEN HIS HEAD, YOU'LL FIND LITTLE HAIRY TRIANGLES.
FRANKIE, COME HERE.
THE PROFESSOR FROM THE COLLEGE JUST STUCK HIS HAND UP MY SKIRT AGAIN.
OK. YOU POUR, I'LL BUMP.
- LET ME FRESHEN THAT UP FOR YOU. - I ALWAYS LIKE MORE.
IT'S VERY COLD.
I AM SO SORRY! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
I'M SO SORRY.
HELEN'S IN THE HOSPITAL.
HER NEIGHBOUR JUST CALLED. SHE THINKS THIS IS IT.
15 YEARS SHE WORKS HERE. IT'S A LONG TIME.
DO YOU THINK SHE KNOWS WE'RE HERE?
I DON'T KNOW.
IT'S A HOSPITAL.
HELEN, HONEY, IT'S CORA. CAN YOU HEAR ME?
EXCUSE ME. COULD YOU LEAVE NOW? HELEN HAS ANOTHER VISITOR.
WE'RE LEAVING.
WE'RE GONNA GO NOW. WE'LL BE BACK TOMORROW.
DO YOU THINK WE'RE GONNA END UP LIKE THIS? ALONE.
SHE'S NOT ALONE.
SHE'S ALONE.
EASY. WE'LL NEED SOMETHING UNDER HIS HEAD. LET ME HAVE YOUR JACKET.
BACK OFF, OK? GIVE HIM A LITTLE ROOM.
- IT'S NOT LIKE YOUR FATHER'S... - WHAT'S GOING ON?
- WHERE'S NICK? - AT THE HOSPITAL.
- WHAT'S WRONG? - HE'S HAVING A FIT.
CALL AN AMBULANCE.
- I LOVE... - WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND!
HE'S JUST SITTING THERE, THEN HE FALLS LIKE A TON OF BRICKS.
STAND BACK.
WE NEED AN AMBULANCE, PLEASE. THE APOLLO RESTAURANT, 23RD AND NINTH.
IS THERE A DOCTOR HERE?
IS ANYBODY A DOCTOR HERE?
- YOU'RE DRESSED LIKE A NURSE. - I'M A DENTAL TECHNICIAN.
- WE'RE GONNA NEED AN AMBULANCE. - THEY'RE ON THE WAY.
YOU GOTTA GET HIM ON HIS SIDE SO HE CAN BREATHE RIGHT.
WHERE DID YOU LEARN THAT?
CAMPFIRE GIRL... I DON'T REMEMBER. IS HE EPILEPTIC?
- YEAH, I THINK... - SURE? IT COULD BE DRUGS.
DRUGS? HE DON'T LOOK LIKE AN ADDICT TO ME. WHAT IS IT?
EPILEPSY!
YEAH, HE'S EPILEPTIC. GO BACK TO YOUR TABLES, HE'S FINE.
THE AMBULANCE IS COMING. THANK YOU.
THANKS FOR COOPERATING. FREE COFFEE FOR EVERYONE.
- GIVE EVERYONE... - NICK'LL KILL YOU.
YOU CAN MAKE THAT CALL NOW, JORGE.
YOUR NAME IS FRANKIE, RIGHT?
- I'M JOHNNY. - I KNOW.
FRANKIE AND JOHNNY, THE SONG.
YEAH, I'VE HEARD OF IT. IS HE BREATHING ALL RIGHT?
YEAH. FRANKIE AND JOHNNY WERE SWEETHEARTS...
- I DON'T THINK HE'S BREATHING RIGHT. - HE'S BREATHING.
- WHY NOT GO OUT WITH ME TONIGHT? - WHAT?
I'M ASKING YOU OUT WITH ME TONIGHT, ON A DATE.
HE JUST ASKED HER OUT.
- I DON'T BELIEVE THIS. - WHAT'S NOT TO BELIEVE?
NO. KEEP HIM COMPANY. I'LL WAIT FOR THE AMBULANCE.
- WELCOME TO THE WORLD. - WHAT HAPPENED?
NOTHING MUCH. I JUST GOT TURNED DOWN BY SOME WOMAN.
YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE.
HEY, LUCY.
I'M ACTUALLY IN REGO PARK.
LOOK WHO'S HERE.
WHAT'S HE DOING HERE? HE DIDN'T KNOW HER.
SURE HE DID. HIS FIRST DAY WAS HER LAST... I THINK.
HELEN CAN USE ALL THE MOURNERS SHE CAN GET.
- NEDDA! - I DIDN'T MEAN IT UNKINDLY,
I'M JUST GLAD WE DIDN'T BOOK ST PATRICK'S.
TINO AND LUTHER WERE HERE EARLIER, NICK GOT THE FLOWERS.
- THEY'RE NICE. - I GOTTA GO.
I'M GONNA GO WITH YOU. FUNERALS GIVE ME THE WILLIES.
- YOU GONNA COME? - WE JUST GOT HERE.
- IT'S THE THOUGHT. - I DON'T WANNA LEAVE HER ALONE.
YEAH, SURE.
COME ON, NEDDA, WE DON'T NEED A BRICK WALL TO FALL ON US.
SHUT UP, DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.
YOU'RE PICKING UP A GUY IN A FUNERAL PARLOUR
IN FRONT OF A FREAKIN' STIFF!
IN MY WILDEST DREAMS I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS.
CHARMING.
SORRY, HELEN.
WHO DO I HAVE TO FUCK TO GET A WAFFLE?
FORGET ABOUT THE WAFFLE.
THANK YOU, TINO, OSCAR'S A LOT BETTER.
HOT PLATES, LOOK OUT. HERE'S ANOTHER PRESENT FOR YOU, LUTHER.
CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING?
YEAH, SHOOT.
TINO, GIVE ME A MOMENT HERE. THANK YOU.
- I'LL CLEAN THAT LATER. - DID YOU KNOW HELEN?
- IT LOOKED LIKE YOU WERE CRYING. - DEATH IS VERY SAD.
BUT YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HER.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW SOMEONE TO FEEL SAD FOR THEM. IT'S EMPATHY.
YEAH. EMPATHY, YEAH.
EMPATHY. THE SYMPATHETIC VIBRATIONS OF TWO HUMAN BEINGS.
- I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS. - NO, YOU DON'T.
I DIDN'T KNOW EITHER TILL I LOOKED IT UP.
YOU SEE, EVERY DAY WHEN I'M SHAVING, I LOOK UP A NEW WORD.
IT'S A LITTLE PIECE OF TURKEY, THAT'S ALL.
HOW CAN YOU HAVE EMPATHY WITH SOMEONE YOU'VE NEVER MET?
I DIDN'T HAVE TO MEET HER. I JUST LOOKED AT HER PICTURE AND I KNEW.
I KNEW SHE LIVED ALONE, I KNEW SHE HAD THESE DREAMS
THAT WEREN'T QUITE ENOUGH TO KEEP HER HEART BEATING
SO SHE KEPT IT GOING BY PUTTING A BOTTLE OF FOUR ROSES
UNDER HER PILLOW - NOBODY KNEW ABOUT.
VODKA.
YOU SHOULD GET A CRYSTAL BALL AND A TURBAN, YOU'D MAKE A LOT MORE MONEY.
I'M NO FORTUNE TELLER. I JUST TELL IT THE WAY I SEE IT.
SHE HAD THAT LOOK. MY MOTHER HAD THAT LOOK HER WHOLE LIFE.
DISAPPOINTED.
I NEED A BLOOD SAUSAGE AND HASH BROWNS.
NEDDA! SHE'S JUST ASKING ME OUT!
I AM NOT! I AM NOT ASKING YOU OUT.
- I'M SORRY I'M INTERRUPTING. - YOU'RE SLICING THE TURKEY TOO THIN!
THAT'S OK, I'LL WAIT.
BABY, YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU, RIGHT?
DON'T MONOPOLISE THE PHONE.
THANK YOU, CORA.
DID YOU COME?
YES. I USUALLY CAN HOLD IT LONGER THAN THAT.
- SORRY. - BUT IT DIDN'T SEEM LIKE YOU CAME.
I CAME. I DID. THAT WAS TERRIFIC.
ARE YOU SURE?
ARE YOU KIDDING? OF COURSE I DID.
YEAH, BUT USUALLY A GUY WILL MOAN AND YELL OR SOMETHING,
YOU DIDN'T EVEN CLEAR YOUR THROAT.
I TRAINED MYSELF TO DO IT QUIETLY.
- WHY? - LET'S JUST SAY I'VE BEEN IN PLACES
WHERE FULL-THROATED ORGASM WOULD BE HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE.
- YOU MEAN LIKE A MONASTERY? - YEAH, SORT OF.
I'M DIZZY.
MAYBE THE SHOES WAS TOO MUCH FOR YOU.
IT COULD HAVE BEEN.
- OR POSITION MAYBE. - POSITION! YES!
I LIKE THAT POSITION. WOMAN ASTRIDE. YES.
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING? I WOULD HAVE DONE IT.
YOU DID IT. THAT'S WHAT THIS IS, ASTRIDE.
- WHAT, ON TOP? - YEAH, ON TOP. LIKE THIS.
THOUGH MY LIPS WERE SEALED,
MY MIND AND MY BODY WERE JUST SHOOTING OFF FIREWORKS.
SO, IT WASN'T EXACTLY PERFECT.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.
I WASN'T EXACTLY 100% - THESE SHOES ARE CUTE BUT THEY KILL MY FEET.
CAN I STAY OVER?
WHY NOT?
BECAUSE IF YOU STAY OVER, THE TWO OF US WILL LAY HERE ALL NIGHT, AWAKE,
PRETENDING TO BE ASLEEP BUT WONDERING WHY WE DIDN'T HIT IT OFF.
JOHNNY, YOU'RE JUST LONELY. I'M JUST LONELY.
WE DON'T HAVE TO BE ROMEO AND JULIET.
LONELY.
YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND, YOU SAID.
I GOT TWO BOYFRIENDS. I'M LOOKING FOR ONE MR RIGHT.
- I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW. - SEE YOU AT THE SALT MINES.
- BYE. - GOOD NIGHT.
- IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. - I KNOW.
I SEEN THE END OF THE WORLD.
"BUT LOOK, THE MORN, IN RUSSET MANTLE CLAD
"WALKS O'ER THE DEW OF YON HIGH EASTWARD HILL."
- THE MORN? - WHAT THE HELL DOES IT MEAN?
IT MEANS THE SUN IS UP.
WHY DOESN'T HE JUST SAY SO INSTEAD OF THIS BULLSHIT?
BECAUSE HE'S SHAKESPEARE. THE GREATEST POET EVER.
ARE YOU SAYING YOU DON'T RESPECT ME ANY MORE?
- I COULD CARE LESS! - I DON'T RESPECT YOU ANY MORE.
I THINK YOU'RE BOTH A PAIR OF TRAMPS.
LOOK, I DID YOU BOTH A FAVOUR, I TRIED HIM OUT.
DID HE REALLY...?
TWO MINUTES TOPS!
- I HATE THAT! - AND SO QUIET. LIKE A MOUSE.
MARCEL MARCEAU COMES LOUDER THAN THIS GUY.
MAYBE YOU SCARED HIM. THAT ISN'T OUT OF THE QUESTION.
WELL, MAYBE SO BUT I DON'T READ POETRY.
AS I SEE IT, YOU NEED TWO WORDS TO MAKE IT IN THIS TOWN -
"FUCK" AND "YOU".
- SOMEONE DIDN'T GET LAID LAST NIGHT. - I GET LAID EVERY NIGHT.
I BET YOU DO.
- NO, NOT THE WIG! - NO! I KNEW NOT TO USE THE WIG.
DO YOU KNOW THOSE GOLD PUMPS I GOT? THE STILETTOS? I PUT 'EM ON,
THINGS ARE LOOKING GOOD, BUT THEN I...
I KNOW WHAT YOU TWO ARE TALKING ABOUT.
- YOU DO? - OF COURSE I DO.
WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT? SAY THE WORD.
- LEAVE HER ALONE. - JUST ONE TIME. JUST FOR ME.
- COPULATE. SAY IT. - CORA, LEAVE HER ALONE.
- ONCE IN YOUR LIFE. - YOU ARE SO MEAN!
YOU CAN DO IT! ON THE COUNT OF THREE. ONE, TWO, THREE!
I WATCH DR RUTH.
PETER, TELEPHONE.
YEAH. HOW MUCH?
WHAT'S WITH YOU?
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, STAFF, I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT.
- CRAZY BUSBOY. - I SOLD MY FIRST SCRIPT.
RIGHT! THEY'RE FLYING ME FIRST CLASS TO SUNNY LA
TO BEGIN SHOOTING BLOODS ON THE MOON!
I'LL GIVE YOU ONE LAST DAY AND I'M OFF TO HOLLYWOOD.
SON OF A BITCH! PARDON MY FRENCH.
NICE SHOT.
OK, SERVING FOR THE GAME, THIS IS IT.
I GOT YOU NOW! GO, JOE!
SHIT! PARDON MY FRENCH.
- OUT! - THERE IT IS, GOOD GAME. GOOD GAME.
- GOOD ONE, JOE. - I GOTTA GO CATCH CRIMINALS.
WHY WON'T YOU GO TO PETER'S GOING-AWAY PARTY WITH ME?
- I DON'T WANT TO. - I'LL PICK YOU UP AT SEVEN.
- SOMETIMES YOU'RE REALLY OBNOXIOUS. - I'M NOT OBNOXIOUS.
I'M JUST EAGER TO GO OUT WITH YOU. THAT'S A BIG DIFFERENCE.
545 WEST 54TH STREET, RIGHT?
- HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? - COME ON, IT'S ON YOUR PUNCHCARD.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOOKING AT MY PUNCHCARD? YOU STAY AWAY FROM IT.
WHAT'S YOUR APARTMENT NUMBER?
- 6A. - NO, I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.
6B? 3F? AM I CLOSE?
- AM I TALKING TO MYSELF OVER HERE? - JUST A MINUTE.
WHAT CAN I DO TO MAKE YOU RESPOND TO ME? CAN I WRITE LITTLE NOTES?
I DON'T RESPOND TO LITTLE NOTES.
- WHAT ABOUT IF I GIVE YOU PRESENTS? - YOU CAN AFFORD THAT?
- I'M SAYING LITTLE. - I DON'T LIKE PRESENTS AND THINGS.
I KNOW, I GONNA BACK OFF BUT I GOTTA TELL YOU SOMETHING.
- I GOT A CRUSH ON YOU. - BURGER DELUXE, PICK UP.
WHY DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME?
BECAUSE THE HEART DOES THINGS FOR REASONS
THAT REASON CANNOT UNDERSTAND.
DOES NICK KNOW ABOUT THIS? I'M GONNA TELL NICK.
YOU GOT HER JEALOUS, YOU SEE? YOU GOT HER ALL RILED UP.
I WANT TO KNOW WHY YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME.
WE'RE GONNA GO TO THE PARTY AND WALK IN ALONE?
OUR WHOLE LIFE WE SPEND ALONE AT PARTIES.
SO WE WALK IN TOGETHER, IT'S NOT SO BAD. SO BAD?
NO, IT'S NOT. WE CAN DO IT.
- WHAT? DO WHAT? - WHAT'S THE MATTER?
I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT MY ORDER WAS!
ONE MEATLOAF PLATTER AND TWO CHEF'S SALADS.
SEE? I NEVER FORGET AN ORDER.
CANCEL THE TUNA MELT, THE CUSTOMER JUST DIED OF MALNUTRITION.
I'M GIVING HIS LAWYER YOUR NUMBER, OK?
TRY SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE FESTIVE. YOU NEED THESE?
NO, NOT YET.
I'M TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT.
COME ON.
- YOU LOOK LIKE AN ITALIAN WIDOW. - I WISH YOU'D JUST COME WITH ME.
I CAN'T. I'VE CANCELLED THIS DINNER THREE TIMES ALREADY.
I HATE GOING TO PARTIES ALONE.
I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE EVERYBODY'S STARING AT ME.
DRESSED IN THAT THEY PROBABLY ARE. WHAT TIME IS THE BULLFIGHT?
LET ME WEAVE MY MAGIC SPELL.
THE LAND OF LOST DRESSES. AND THE WINNER IS...!
THERE. NOW THAT IS A PARTY DRESS. I FEEL PRETTIER ALREADY.
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO PARTIES ALONE, START DATING AGAIN.
SHE HASN'T HAD A DATE IN THREE YEARS. NOT SINCE PHILLIP...
- I SAID THE "PH" WORD. - IT'S NOT TRUE.
WHAT ABOUT THAT WELSHMAN? I DATED HIM THAT WHOLE SUMMER.
PLEASE! I DON'T COUNT HIM.
WHAT? HE ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM.
THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T LIKE HIM. I KNEW HE WOULDN'T LEAVE HIS WIFE.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THOSE THINGS?
- MORE THAN YOU DO OBVIOUSLY. - SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO DATE.
I DON'T DATE BY CHOICE.
TOO BAD BECAUSE I LOVE YOUR CHOICES.
WE WENT FROM MR ABUSE YOU TO MR USE YOU,
PLUS A FLING WITH A CROSS DRESSER THAT I BLEW THE WHISTLE ON.
YES! MAMA, THE PUMPS. DEFINITELY THE PUMPS. BOBBY, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- LEAVE ME OUT OF IT. - I'M GIVING US SIX WEEKS.
ARE YOU EXPECTING SOMEONE?
HELLO, WHO IS IT?
I JUST GOT GOOSEBUMPS. DO YOU KNOW THAT SONG?
FOUR WEEKS.
IT SAYS YOUR NAME BUT IT DOESN'T SAY THE APARTMENT NUMBER.
- 6A. WHAT? - IT'S THE NEW GUY AT WORK. THE COOK.
- IS HE CUTE? - YEAH, SORT OF.
DO YOU HAVE A DATE WITH HIM OR DID YOU ORDER SANDWICHES?
NO, HE ASKED ME TO GO OUT WITH HIM AND I TOLD HIM NO
THEN HE ASKED ME TO PETER'S PARTY AND I SAID NO, I THINK.
WHAT DID I SAY?
HOW SHOULD I KNOW? WHO CARES? IT'S A GENTLEMAN CALLER.
WHAT DID HE DO? RUN UP? THIS GUY MEANS BUSINESS.
- SHOULD I GET IT? - WAIT!
WHO ARE YOU GONNA SAY YOU ARE?
THE MAN WHO SHOT LIBERTY VALANCE! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? HOW DO I LOOK?
- I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT! - YEAH, BUT YOU NEVER DO.
MY GOD! I LOOK LIKE THE BRECK GIRL.
- THIS IS 6A, RIGHT? - 6A.
- WELCOME. - HELLO.
- ARE YOU OK? - MY GOD!
- CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING? - I'M FINE.
I JUST RAN UP FIVE FLIGHTS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT GOT INTO ME, I JUST HAD TO RUN UP.
- WANTED TO GET HERE. - YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
NO, IT WAS MY PLEASURE.
- SO, YOU READY? - ALMOST.
YEAH? GOOD.
NICE APARTMENT. BIG FOR A STUDIO.
OK, SIT. I GUESS THERE'S NOT AN EMPTY CHAIR IN THE HOUSE.
MAN, I COULDN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT TO WEAR EITHER.
THIS IS TIM AND BOBBY, THEY'RE HOOKING UP MY VCR.
RIGHT.
I'M TIM, HE'S BOBBY. I LIVE ACROSS THE HALL
AND BOBBY LIVES WITH THE VON TRAPP FAMILY.
SO, THIS IS YOUR FIRST DATE?
WE JUST STARTED DATING OURSELVES.
EACH OTHER?
THAT'S INTERESTING. YOU'D NEVER KNOW IT.
THIS IS REALLY NICE AND HOMEY. ELEPHANTS!
SHE'S COLLECTED THOSE SINCE SHE WAS KID.
WHEN THE TRUNKS ARE UP, IT MEANS GOOD LUCK.
BUT THEY GOTTA FACE THE WINDOW.
OTHERWISE IT'S BAD LUCK. I READ THAT SOMEWHERE.
THAT EXPLAINS A LOT.
I THINK I COULD HELP YOU WITH THAT WIRE.
I THINK I GOT IT IF I COULD JUST... SURE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING?
LAST TIME I WORKED ON ONE OF THESE...
OK, I THINK THAT ONE GOES RIGHT THERE.
- I'M SURE. - NO, IT GOES OVER HERE.
YOU GOTTA TAKE THE PLUG...
- ARE YOU AN ELECTRICIAN? - NO, I'M A COOK.
THIS IS SO EXCITING. I FEEL LIKE YOUR BIG SISTER.
- WHAT DO YOU THINK? - HE'S NICE.
THAT'S A ROTTEN THING TO SAY!
HE'S VERY NICE. LOOK, WE'VE BOTH DONE WORSE.
OF COURSE, HE COULD BE A MASS MURDERER OR A PSYCHO.
THANK YOU FOR SHARING THAT WITH ME.
COME ON, HURRY UP BEFORE HE CHANGES HIS MIND.
IT'S BETTER THE WAY I HAD IT.
YEAH, I THINK YOU'RE RIGHT.
MAYBE I SHOULD JUST LEARN TO LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE.
LET ME HELP YOU. HERE. TRY THIS.
I HAVE A COUSIN WHO'S GAY, BY THE WAY.
- MOST PEOPLE DO. - READY?
- HE'S A REALLY GREAT GUY. - I'M SURE.
HE JUST FOUND OUT HE WAS GAY A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO.
I'LL LOOK HIM UP IN THE DIRECTORY. UNDER THE NEW LISTINGS.
- LET'S GO. - GOOD ONE.
NICE MEETING YOU. NICE MEETING YOU, BOBBY. SORRY ABOUT THE TV.
- DON'T WORRY ABOUT. - NICE MEETING YOU.
- SURE YOU DON'T WANNA COME? - NEXT WEEK WE'LL DOUBLE.
I HOPE IT WORKS OUT.
THERE'S LOTS OF REASONS. AT WORK, THE LITTLE THINGS YOU DO THAT I WATCH.
I LOVE THE WAY YOU SWIG.
YOU DON'T THINK WE'D FIT, DO YOU?
WE FIT, FRANKIE. WE FIT LIKE...
PEAS IN A POD, LIKE A LOCK AND A KEY.
I'M NOT SO SURE I LIKE WHERE YOUR KEY'S BEEN.
YOU MEAN CORA, RIGHT? YOU THINK THAT WAS SOMETHING?
COME ON, YOU KNOW WHAT THAT WAS.
IT'S A BAND-AID ON LONELINESS.
SO, HOW OLD ARE YOU?
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. HOW OLD ARE YOU?
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
LATE FORTIES.
- WHAT? THEN DON'T ASK. - DON'T ASK!
...BUT BEFORE I GO ANY FURTHER,
I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU ALL TO MY HEART, CHERYL.
AND THE MAN THIS COULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED WITHOUT, MUTZIE CALISH.
FINALLY, TO ALL OF YOU WHO HELPED ME WHEN I WAS A NOBODY,
I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL NOW
BECAUSE I'M SURE I WILL FORGET YOU WHEN I'M BIG AND IN HOLLYWOOD!
I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY.
I WISH TO MAKE SALUTE TO PETER. HE WORKED FOR ME AT THE APOLLO CAFE.
FOR PETER, MY COUSINS WILL PLAY SOME GREEK MUSIC.
LET'S BREAK SOME PLATES!
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME CAKE?
SO, WANNA DANCE?
NO. ASK NEDDA, THAT'S HER THING.
IF SOMETHING HAPPENS BETWEEN US, I HOPE YOU CAN HANDLE IT.
- NEDDA? - WHAT?
- WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO GREEK WITH ME? - YEAH! HANG ON, MY BRA SNAPPED.
FOR OLD TIMES' SAKE.
ME AND THREE OF THE GUYS TIGHTENED THAT UP.
JOHNNY'S TEACHING ME HOW TO BE A COOK. THIS IS MARIA.
- GREAT PARTY. - CONFESSION TIME.
ON MY FIRST DAY, I STOLE SOME OF YOUR TIPS.
I KNOW. BUT YOU PUT IT BACK THE NEXT DAY.
I WAS BROKE. I WAS REALLY BROKE.
I'M REALLY GLAD THINGS ARE WORKING OUT FOR YOU, YOU KNOW.
- I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST. - THANKS.
SEE YOU JOHNNY.
- HEY, BABY. LET'S CUT A RUG. - ARE YOU BRA-LESS?
LET'S GO, NICK!
WHEN DO WE BREAK THE PLATES?
THAT'S GOOD. GO.
NEDDA, COME ON!
- IT'S NOT GREEK BUT IT'S GOOD. - PARTY!
LET'S GO, JOHNNY!
THAT'S RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
BRAVO!
- COME ON, THERE MUST BE A REASON. - DUMBO.
- DUMBO? THE MOVIE? - YEAH.
NO DEEP HIDDEN MEANING. PLAIN DUMBO THE ELEPHANT.
JUST BEFORE MY FATHER LEFT, HE TOOK ME TO SEE DUMBO
AND I LIKED IT SO I SAVE ELEPHANTS.
I LIKE THAT MOVIE DUMBO.
THE FLOWER MARKET. MY SECRET PLACE.
ONLY ME AND 3,000 FLORISTS KNOW ABOUT IT.
HOW ABOUT A LOVELY CORSAGE FOR THE LADY?
GOOD.
- WHICH ONE? - ON THE BOTTOM, THIRD ONE IN.
THIS ONE?
OK, I GOT IT.
YOU WANT ME TO DO IT?
YOU NEVER WENT TO THE PROM, DID YOU?
NO. DID YOU?
I WISH YOU'D STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT.
LIKE WHAT?
LIKE THAT. IT'S TOO INTENSE.